happy friday.

two weeks left.
i'm hoping to get a job at pinkberry.
it's so cute. until i was referred there, i didn't know what it was.
but i'm excitedddd.
& today was pretty decent.
i sized up on my ears? yay?
i'm so fucking beat right now.
i kinda wanna sleep early, but it's friday
and i've slept long days this week already.

this week has been crap.

it's been hot like shit.
everyone's been annoying.
i hate mother nature.
i'm being ignored.
"he's" not talking to me.
fuck ittt.

wowwwwwwwwwwwwww

fuck period symptoms
Anxiety
Irritability
Fatigue
Depression
Mood swings
Anger
Restlessness
Over-sensitivity
Crying spells

& fuck being sick
lightheaded
dizzy
weak
headache
sinus pressure
tingling in fingers

at the same time.
that's hell right there.

damnnnn bitch

i'm proud of what you did today.
i wasn't expecting it, but i enjoyed it.

anywayy.
i'm sore.
sore from tryouts.
which i don't wanna do.
but i feel bad. i'm debating whether or not i should go tomorrow.
it does kill time, which i like because it's short day tomorrow.

lost my appetite

for chicken.
uncooked chicken ruins it

horrible week.

fuck the length of the classes.
tomorrow i get out at 1:40.
at least it's friday.

network was being a douche.
but it's fixed now.

wtf haha

birds fighting outside, then a horrid smell.
decent day was decent.
this morning wasn't to say the least.
as much as i hate sitting in class for a long
period of time, the 2hr 3 period a day made
school fly by, which was a good thing.

but it was a heavy mist day.
my hair got wavey haha

phone charger usb

its really bugging meeeee.
"found new hardware:" samsung cdma tech.
keeps popping up every 5 minutes.
talk about annoying.

/rant

so today

today i went to beach.
it was coldddddddddddd. i could hardly text.
and then to the peninsula and ran a very long
distance threw the fluffy sand all the way to
the water and back. i guess i feel better about some things.

I wish

I wish things would be in a state where I can have the happiness like I used to 3 years ago.
Do you ever think to call?
Do you at least smile when I text you?
Do you care to say "I love you?"
I wish you'd act like you used to 3 years ago.

ugh.

i've been trying to keep myself from feeling all sad lately.
it's not working. i can't even tell anyone about it.
i guess in the morning i'm going out for a run.
i need to get this crap off my mind.

dsfhtr

an okay day turned out of be fucked

heh.

today was a good day.
4-5 weeks left. nuff said.
<3

my hurrr.

so on saturday & sunday i re-bleached my roots, and some of the pink in my bangs.
i wanted less because the pink is hard to take care of.

but i'm happy with it now.
and this morning was shitty.
it wasn't doing what i wanted it to.
but it got better through the day.

coscooo.

click4vid

haha so yesterday i was at cosco, shuffling.
and todayyyyy i'm extremelyyyyy sore :x

happy mothers dayyyyy :B

personality disorder

Paranoid: Moderate
Schizoid: Moderate
Schizotypal: Low
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Moderate
Histrionic: Low
Narcissistic: Moderate
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate

errrm.

something that realllly bugs me are the names people use on their myspace.
they use their name and add it to a band name. or put their last name as some famous annoying shit looking person.
ooomg, i'd rather look at a history book then see that everywhere.

CST

the length of these school periods are way too long.
especially for classes you have no testing in.
the teachers run out of shit to do and leave you sitting there.
it's so retarded and makes me irritated.
i can't sit still.
i have to be moving, or at least doing something.
and in two weeks for one week, they'll be 2hrs long.
screw that to it's dick.

suckish day.

i started my P word in school.
with nothing to save my underwear.
for 90+ minutes. my the end of 2nd period
which is 90 minutes too, i ended up going home.
i was in so much pain, and i wasn't gonna sit in
class with a mess that was visible. :x
when i got home i ended up sleeping more then school hours.
and felt wayyyyy better.

uhuh

so my hair turned out pretty good.
i actually didn't do what i intended to do
to it like i planned because it looked retarded.
fresh cut layers act stupid :|

i just ended up putting a band like over there >>
in it.

and it was like 81° today.
i really wasn't in the mood for a hot day.

so;

i layered my hair today.
i'm not so sure about the bottom back part.
but i'll see what happens tomorrow morning.
and make sure to post later that day. <3

& today has actually been a pretty good day.
i'm not so thrilled about the CSTs the next
3 weeks. 90 minute classes 3 days a week.
all though i'm heaps happy about getting out of
school on friday at 1:40 :D

.......

today went from bad to okay.
i don't like going to fairs with dust & people who drag their feet.
i also don't like being there all day. i didn't wanna go in the first place. yet i got questioned for being irritable. but i guess it turned out pretty good.

i have a final draft essay to do.
but i wanna do it tonight, but then i don't want to.
i need to wash my hair.
i'm cutting it tomorrow.
the length it's at right now is a pain in the jacksie

ermm

haha i hate when the month/year changes
and you write down the previous or year on your school papers.
it takes me about 3 times to get it right.

but happy mayyy<3

schoooooool.

:|
i have 3 quizzes tomorrow.one, i'm not so confident about.
a vocab quiz in english. he makes us pick out words from
the book lés miserables. and of course the words would be big ones, and ones
that you don't see everyday. but i don't care, i have a C in that class. 4 A's and a B.
i have a math quiz. that's not an issue. and the check writing. isn't bad either.

the for the next 3 weeks, i have CST testing. >.<
those are the gayest.

ever since

i moved, i've been more tired then i've ever been.
the point & choice was to work hard
and not feel like i'm allowed to slack in school.
and feel better about where i am and the people around me.
i actually feel good about it.
i can have goodnight sleeps
without worrying about an assignment the next day.
i've never really felt that except for 2-3 years ago.

yeah.

this is how i feel everyday.
even if i don't look near to that,
it's only to show i'm not comfortable in my own body.

I.

Genesis 1:1
In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.

I believe in that 100%.
Mostly from experiencing his presence.

Lately, I haven't been acting like the Christian I used to be. The Christian I want to be. For at least a year now. I've been cussing. I've had bad un-pure thoughts. It's really not who I am. I'm not sure how I got that way, but I changed. And I guess it's a good thing i realized it. Last night I prayed for a long time, but it's never a bad thing to say so much. I felt he was there. I felt forgiven. A while back, I went a week without cussing. It felt good in the time doing it. I told myself I wanted to change. I never did. I gave up. That honestly wasn't the best thing to do. You can give up on other things, but for me, never on God. I was born abused & raised a Christian. I wanted at least 1 to make me feel like I had a purpose.

Romans 5:8
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

I've done a lot in the Bible, reading, but not a lot.
In all the years I've been up for Jesus, I could have finished reading the whole thing.

I need to get my life back on track.

John 14:6
Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

i've recently

come across a person, who asked me what my gender was.
i can make being a bitch coming from any conversation. it's what i do. it's who i am.
i can't change it. it's what kind of mood i'm in, it's what you did to cause it.

but seriously? i'm a fucking girl. if you didn't notice.
it pisses me off because it's pretty damn obvious.
for one, my name is ALY, i don't have a projecting adam's apple. whatsoever.
i know very few guys have a slim face structure, but look beyond that.
i have boobs okay. i don't have bulky shoulders, as i said, very few guys don't.
and it's only a few people who ask me that, you're just plain fucking stupid.

early morningssss.

i have such bad habits at judging a day before it even started.
every morning i wake up and think that whatever is happening in the moment, (not feeling good, pissed at something that i can't recognize, or just feeling like doing nothing) is gonna happen allllllll day. i'm just not a morning person. i have trouble sleeping, and trouble waking up. i'm a heavy sleeper which leads for me to not wanting to wake up at a early hour. & for most is habitual for many people. i just have this thing where i don't wanna hear anyone talk, or myself talk at all.

okok i hadddd to get this off my mind.

we all have those days where we just run into anything that comes before us.
i had that day when i came home, i'm not sure what day it was but it was the week of 4/19. i had to pee, realllllly bad. me and my aunt were standing in the door way. i was standing on the silver water stopper thingy. and i was wearing my flats that were a bit slippery on the bottom. i don't know how it happened but i slipped and almost fell back, i saved myself but i don't remember how i did. i ended up laughing a lot. which made me need to pee more. so i rushed down the hall to put my stuff down, and then i ran into the wall. and laugh more. as i head to the bathroom, i slipped on a magazine, but a clothes hanger rack was behind me. asdfghj i ended up getting to the bathroom finally.

lazynessss.

there's always those times where someone just absolutely doesn't wanna do something.
for me, that happens a lottttttttt. i'm not lazy enough to be called 'stubborn' though.

so this morning my phone died, and i obvs have the same phone as my brother so i asked him if i can use his charger. he lost it. so i don't even know how he uses his phone. it was on though, and i found out he used my car charger. thats when i didn't wanna go outside. i'm next to my phone, texting and shit 24/7. well not lately. i like have to sleep with it under my pillow. but i'm not obsessed. i have a wall one too but it's at home in los angeles, because i was too lazy to grab it & i'd just use the car charger. but now, i'm too lazy to go outside and charge it.

this isn't something i'd be lazy about.
but i guess it's sunday and i'm still kinda tired.
i'm usually on top of getting it on the charger when my phone dies.

unpleasant.

i reallllllllly hate that feeling
of when being debilitated hits you hardd.
it makes my eyes want to shut completely.
and when i force them open, i end up getting a headache.

old tv shows.

i really miss watching these kind of shows when i was little. :x
a year ago i'd always think
"ew, i liked that?" haha

right now, things aren't looking good

when i get mad to a point, i start crying. weird? no.
i think it's a pretty normal thing.
so many things can just suck my nuts right now.
links won't work, twitter is a fuckcunt - that's not even half the problem.
i feel like i'm being avoided.
heaps avoided, not a good fucking feeling.
theres a lot more but im not gonna sit here and type it all out.
i need to punch something.

/rant

The cutest thing on the planet

>w< !

pet peeves

below is probably the most annoying shit ever. :/
there's more, i'll add on as im annoyed.

○ people who say "i'm bi, got a problem? deal with it."
what are you? looking for special attention? who cares if you're bi, you're no different then anyone else in this fucked up society. get over yourself.
○ people who barge in on me when i'm half naked.
○ people who stick their middle finger out in a picture.
○ a band's vocalist who leaves then has a shitty album the next year.
○ piercings that don't look good on people.
○ people who say "im ugly" when most of the time they're not.
○ PE0PLE WH0 T4LK LiKE THiS
○ people who say they hate posers when they are one.
○ people who show so much cleavage for attention.
○ when people say "nevermind" just to be lazy.
○ when the straightener cord gets caught on shit
○ texting killers.

I have bad habits.

and it's not the whole chewing on my nails thing, even though i do haha.
i tend to look at people, not in that creepy way. i look at them once and move on.
and most of the time, i usually think bad of them. i guess you can say I'm judgmental. who isn't? fuck those

"i don't judge, you shouldn't either."

or

"please don't judge me before you get to know me."

you judge people no matter what. without even knowing it. people will judge you, no matter what. i like pretty people. it's who i tend to talk to the most. or at least try. if i see someone who is not good-looking, i start thinking of bad things in my mind. it makes me wanna punch them. :x
i'm kind of conceited. not in a way of loving myself and myself only. but when it comes to other people. and this is real life i'm talking about. i may seem like a stuck up bitch, and may not wanna talk to me, but this isn't the worse thing.